Regrets
by J0kes0nU
Summary: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.


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**Pairings: Fuji/OC, hinted Fuji/Tezuka**

**Warnings: none to speak of**

**~ Regrets** ~

_Prologue: Do you have any regrets, Tezuka?_

Tezuka could usually tell when his friend, Fuji, was in a strange mood: he'd be a bit more talkative, a bit more teasing, and he'd be wearing a sadistic smile, above all.  
Thus, Tezuka had no reason to suspect that Fuji was in a strange mood that day when the brown-haired tensai strolled up to him when practice was almost over, and everyone was preoccupied.  
Sure, Fuji had been a bit more morose, a bit quieter, a bit less exuberant than usual, but the difference wasn't that big, not even enough to get Oishi, Seigaku's mother hen, worried. So Tezuka had dismissed it as no big deal.  
"Saa, Tezuka?"  
"Hn?"  
"Do you have any regrets in life?"  
The single sentence was enough to make Tezuka give a long, hard stare at his companion. It ccouldn't be…  
And yet, Seigaku's tensai/prankster seemed earnest enough. Was Tezuka imagining it?  
"I have many," Fuji continued, even though his buchou didn't reply. "But there's just that one big one. No. It's not just big. It's huge, eating up my life. Saa, who knew that regrets could do that to a person?"  
A wistful smile appeared on the Triple Counter prodigy's face as his eyes slid open, revealing a stunning shade of cold, cerulean blue. The tensai's blue eyes actually seemed warm for a second, before the emotion disappeared as rapidly as it had made its appearance. "I was in elementary school in the Chiba prefecture. Saeki, Kairi and I…we were great friends."  
For a split second, Tezuka thought he saw a ghost of sadness in those deep blue pools.  
"I'd just taken up photography at that time. Oh, my first pictures were pathetic, but I was prideful at that time. It was silly to make such a big fuss over a small suggestion. She... all she wanted to do was to help…"

-Flashback-

Chapter One: Flashback Part I

"Kairi, what do you think of these photos?" A petite brown-haired boy spread half a dozen printed pages on the asphalt ground. He was the eight-year-old Fuji.  
A girl of the same age with a cascade of curly black locks and large, round glasses knelt beside Fuji, effectively ruining her clean white stockings. "They look pretty, Syuu-kun!" The girl clapped her hands together a few times before adding hesitantly, "But don't you think that you should try not to face the sun? Otou-san told me that it looks better that way."  
The future to-be tennis tensai knitted his brow and frowned at Kairi, who was studying the photos on the ground intently. "If you don't like my photos, just say so!" He scrambled up angrily.  
Kairi looked up, her sea-green eyes wide with surprise. Her glasses gleamed and almost slipped off her nose. "Syuu-kun, I like them-"  
"Friends don't lie to each other," Fuji stated in a cold voice, although his blue eyes were open and brimming with tears. "It's mean."  
"But Syuu-kun, I really do like your photos. I'm sorry, I-"  
But Fuji had already fled, the sound of his footsteps and the wind in his ears drowning out Kairi's words, leaving the glasses-clad girl still kneeling over a collection of blurry photos. Fuji didn't forget the incident. Not even when his mother served his favorite food at dinner and his younger brother stole his share. Not when his older sister attempted to comfort him.  
And certainly not when he went to school the next day and got to see Kairi's hurt expression.  
Usually the threesome, Kairi, Saeki, and Fuji would walk to school together, chatting merrily. That day, Fuji walked on the other side of the street, talking only with Saeki. The silver-haired boy flashed a worried look at morning, Fuji noticed that walking to school without Kairi was a lot less fun.  
During lunch, he sat at one side of their usual table with Saeki, while Kairi sat at the other end.

Once or twice every few minutes, she'd give him a friendly smile. Fuji knew that ignoring his best friend was wrong, but he lacked the guts to admit it.  
In the afternoon, Fuji spotted Kairi talking to her own friends, although she turned around and smiled at him in the same fashion as she had done during lunch.  
Just as he was getting ready to go home, one of the students Kairi had been talking to went over to Fuji.  
"Y'know," the girl said, "Kairi told us all that you were a great friend, the best in the world."  
Fuji felt overwhelming guilt and shame at those words. Still, he trudged home alone, his heart heavy.

Flashback Part II

That night was sleepless night for Fuji. In the morning, he sat up, more tired than refreshed, and resolved to apologize to Kairi.  
Feeling a great weight lifted off his heart at the thought, Fuji hopped out of bed eagerly.  
Imagine his surprise when only Saeki stopped to wait for him on the way to school without their curly-haired friend in tow. His expression was grim.  
"Minna-san," the teacher said to the class as Fuji took his seat, "Kairi won't be joining our class today."  
Feeling sick to his stomach, Fuji started to do his sums absent-mindedly. When he glanced over at Saeki for reassurance, his best friend's expression had not changed.  
Fuji turned away, a cold lump in his throat.  
Soon, though, as class ended, Fuji's guilt exploded into fresh anger. Was Kairi trying to punish him?  
His bad mood continued throughout the day. Everyone avoided him, afraid to divert his wrath from its main target.  
Strangely, as he arrived home, his sister was already waiting for him.  
She handed him a blue envelope and informed him, "Kairi-chan sent this today."  
Fuji tore the paper open with a mix of foreboding and questioning. What was Kairi writing to him about? Why didn't she say just this to him face-to-face?

The devastating answer met his eyes as he pulled out a stiff white card with a picture of a blue vase filled with poppies. The paper smelled of hospital antiseptic.  
Fuji stared at the cover for a long time, unwilling to learn what bad thing had happened to Kairi, until the suspense overpowered him. His fingers lingered, hesitating, before he flipped the card open.  
At the top of the page, 'Dear _____, please get well soon' was typed in fancy lettering, but what drew Fuji's interest was the large scrawl of someone sedated with narcotics below the printed message:

Dear Syuu-kun,  
I'm sorry about the fight we had a few days ago. It was stupid of me. Your photos are truly brilliant.

I hope you can forgive me. I've done everything in my power to forgive you: I smiled at you; I told my friends that you're the greatest friend in the world. Some of them may have gotten jealous, but it's the truth. You're the best friend a girl could ask for.

I also asked Saeki-kun to keep by your side, so you wouldn't get lonely. Try to get a little more social, ne, Syuu-kun?

I'm really sorry that I can't say this to you in person. I tried to tell you yesterday, but you shunned me. So I have no choice but to write this letter.

I'm dying. The disease I have is incurable, so I guess my time in this world is finished.

Time really seems to fly, now that I treasure it so much.

Ne, Syuu-kun?

Fuji wiped his eyes at the quirky line. At this point, Kairi's letter almost seemed conversational; she was saying all the things she would say if she'd been able to tell him face-to-face.

Saeki-kun already knows; I told him first, but I know you wouldn't believe it if he told you.

So I guess this is really goodbye for now, Syuu-kun? Don't cry, I'll still be here, watching over you.

Kairi-chan

Fuji was suddenly struck by the letter. Kairi…hospital…

He shrugged on his jacket and flew out of the house, braving the traffic and the late-night chill to get to the hospital. He dashed into the lobby, looking at the electronic chart of the hospital's patients and their room numbers.  
Kaida Kairi: Room 203  
Fuji ran off again, seeking out Kairi's room.  
When he reached it, though, the bed was empty, the white sheets clean and folded. The other words beside Kairi's name that he had never bothered to read became painfully clear: Patient deceased.  
Kairi's mother was still sitting in the room, sobbing.  
Patient deceased, the phrase repeated in his head, mocking him bitterly as Kairi's words came to him:  
Time really seems to fly, now that I treasure it.  
Ne, Syuu-kun?  
He nodded in agreement, tears streaming down his cheeks. He wiped them away, remembering the card again.  
Don't cry, I'll still be here, watching over you.

Epilogue: Our Little Secret

-End of Flashback-  
"This'll just be our little secret, ne, Tezuka?" Fuji winked playfully, his eyes closing again in a light, seemingly carefree smile. "Keep it for me, will you?"  
As the tensai of Seigaku walked away, the bell rang, signaling the end of afternoon practice. Tezuka ordered the freshmen to pick up balls, but his eyes remained focused on the sun-bathed figure of the Triple Counter prodigy.  
Fuji Syuusuke…I never thought you had such a past. You're an interesting person. But as to why you would share it with me...

.-.

Author's Note: Should i write a sequel? Message me if you would like one, my dear reader.

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**Reviewing is Love**

**Messaging is Devotion**

**Both is Insanity**

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